Let this page not be anything but an expression of myself.

What is here, and who is here, when there is nothing to prove to anyone.

If there was nobody left on this universe. What would I do?

I’d swim in the seas, walk barefoot in the forests, let fear of everything and nothing overwhelm me. Experience it all and wish there was at least someone to share it all with me. How paradoxical it is to yearn for connection when my heart fears the judgement of others.  Joy of life, for me, has so much to do with sharing that joy with others. So, so much. I love the thrill of seeing people experience something that they’ve never had – or uncover an insight that was right in front of them. What a wonder it is to share in that joy… again and again.

I’ve become so tired of this hollow game we play in society.  So jaded with asking myself, “How do I stand out? How would I make a living? What is it that people want? How do I master this professional skill?” I’m jaded because I echo it, and it exhausts me trying to solve it, or be better than it. I’m jaded because the world is shaped in that way and I can't yet find a way through. I’m mid-way metamorphosizing. Half way here, and half way there. One step in the old world, one step in my inner world.

I’m so tired of dressing up my ego. Making statements that I know this or that. Hiding behind a façade of excellence, put togetherness, and pretence.

I want to be the humble pigeon, perched on a railing, airing my feathers.

I want to be the noble Tembusu, bursting with flowers in the summer season.

I want to be the playful sparrow, prancing around with friends, up and around grass fields.

I guess… I just want to be me.

I wrote this in light of moving through the pits of life that I often find myself in. If you found resonance with the passage, know that you are never alone. Know it is part of the journey, and that a simultaneous embracing and letting go is required.